CHECKING IN WITH YOUR SEX DRIVE: SLUMPS AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

There is no ‘normal’ sexual frequency that all of us have to adhere to in our lives. You should do it when you feel like it! But what if you don’t feel like it? And what if you, like, never feel like it? And what if you really want to feel like it?

We’ve all been there. But when your sex drive is in a funk, it’s worth taking a look at the reasons why.

Diet, exercise, stress, interpersonal and health issues can all impact your sex drive, and sometimes it takes a little retooling to figure out how to turn yourself back on. For many people, there is no one cause, rather a combination of physical and psychological factors. Solving the problem usually calls for a tailored approach.

You might notice that you spend less time fantasizing about sex outside of actual sexual situations, and when you do have sex, you get less physically aroused and sensation is less intense. You might have difficulty reaching orgasm, even with your trustiest sex toy.


More recently, the medical community has recognized this constellation of symptoms as a disorder—female sexual arousal disorder, or FSAD. There is some controversy surrounding this diagnosis and forms of treatment, because arousal is so subjective, but one thing is clear: it’s very common to experience fluctuations in sexual desire.

HERE ARE A SOME OF THE MOST COMMON CULPRITS:
STRESS IN ITS MANY FORMS.
Burning the candle at both ends never ends well. If you work a ton of hours every week or juggle multiple commitments, the other things in your life—diet, exercise, sleep, social life, and sex life—are gonna take a big hit.

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES.
If something feels off with you and your partner(s), your sex life is usually one of the first things to go. Normal life stuff like over working or sharing responsibilities, and emotions like anger or jealousy can all affect your sex life.

A common suggestion from magazines and best friends alike is to “just do it”, because then in theory, you’ll want to again. This reinforces the idea that if you don’t keep your partner sexually satisfied that you are doing something wrong. This is 100% inaccurate. So rather than grin and bear it, try opening up the lines of communication instead.

HEALTH ISSUES.
Many medical conditions, such as thyroid disorders, can directly affect hormone levels and sex drive. Depression is a famous libido-killer, and unfortunately, medications used to treat it like SSRIs can also smother your sexual desire. Same goes for hormonal birth control—ironically, it can actually lead to a lower libido and less interest in sex.

AGE.
As it turns out, this is sometimes more than a number. Just as it’s normal to experience a sudden spike in sexual desire in young adulthood, it’s normal for your sex drive to change as you get older. And that’s because of…

HORMONES.
Testosterone affects sexual drive in all people— levels are higher in your twenties and decline steadily over time, leading up to older age or menopause.

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